Breaking The Trauma Bond With The Narcissist: Yes, You Can!

(Read time: 2 mins.)

It’s not easy. Breaking a trauma bond is a very difficult process; but it can be done with consistent effort. In my own experience, and coaching, I have found that following these 7 steps can help you succeed:

1. Commit to staying in reality at all costs: You were in an abusive, toxic relationship. Don’t allow yourself to fixate on the “if only’s” and “what could have been” – if’s, and could haves, are not reality. Reality if you were in an abusive, toxic relationship that was harming you. Read More

It’s Not Love, It’s A Trauma Bond

(Read time: 1- 2 mins)

In order to completely let go of the narcissist, move on and fully heal, it is very important to understand that any residual feelings of longing, and feeling deeply connected to your narcissist ex; these are not feelings of love. These are most likely indicators of a trauma bond – a very strong psychological and biochemical bond that has been wired into your brain through the love-bombing and devaluation cycle of abuse you’ve endured.

With determination and consistent effort, a trauma bond can be broken. In order to do this however, you have to realize you are trauma bonded in the first place. Read More

The Trauma Bond with a Narcissist: A Dark and Dangerous Pas de Deux

(Read time: 1-2 mins)

If you are, or have been in a relationship with a narcissist, it is highly likely that you are trapped in a trauma bond, or are trying to break the trauma bond, and know how excruciatingly difficult this is.

Many people have never heard of a trauma bond, even those who are trapped in one. The term was coined by Patrick Carnes, PhD, to describe “the misuse of fear, excitement, sexual feelings, and sexual physiology to entangle another person.”

Traumatic bonding occurs as the result of ongoing cycles of abuse. The narcissist uses intermittent reinforcement, rewards, and punishment to create a very powerful biochemical bond that is highly resistant to change over time.
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