One of the most difficult, if not the most difficult, concepts to grasp in the aftermath of a narcissistic relationship, is that the person you fell truly, madly and deeply in love with; the person whom you believed was your soulmate, never existed…Read More...
(Read time: 1-2 mins.)
Cognitive dissonance, the state of holding two, or more contradictory thoughts or beliefs simultaneously, is the mental twisting, twirling, tug-of-war that survivors of narcissistic abuse experience during, and after, the relationship with the narcissist. It is very distressing, and can be unrelenting in its torment. Many partners, and ex-partners, say they feel like they are going crazy from the “push-me/pull-you” dynamic running amok in their minds. The good news is, it can be overcome. In order to overcome it successfully it’s important to understand how it develops, and what keeps it going, so it can be stopped.
(Read time: 2 mins.)
It’s not easy. Breaking a trauma bond is a very difficult process; but it can be done with consistent effort. In my own experience, and coaching, I have found that following these 7 steps can help you succeed:
1. Commit to staying in reality: You were in an abusive, toxic relationship. Don’t allow yourself to fixate on the “if only’s” and “what could have been” – if’s, and could haves, are not reality. Reality if you were in an abusive, toxic relationship that was harming you. continue reading