The Turmoil Trap and The Path To Freedom

“The path to freedom requires but one thing: that you choose to take it.”

(Read time: 1-2 mins)

One of the most distressing elements in healing from narcissistic abuse is the intense emotional conflict between the relief at being free from the toxic dynamic and abuse, and the longing to have what you thought you had, with the person you fell in love with. There is a tidal quality to this emotional and mental struggle. The conflicting feelings ebb and flow, and sometimes pound the shore of your soul. It’s a turmoil trap of pain, confusion, and emotional exhaustion. continue reading

Creating A Masterpiece From Tragedy

(Read time: 1-2 mins)

“Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start.” – Nido Qubein

A victim of narcissistic abuse often does not fully realize the extent and depth of the trauma she (or he) has endured until several weeks, or even months after the relationship is over. Initially, there is a period of shock, a state of feeling emotionally frozen, rooted in pain, confused, anxious, betrayed, and grief-stricken.

Anxious rumination sets in, and it is common to rummage through your devastated memory bank, trying to make sense of what happened, trying to put the shattered pieces of yourself back together, and analyzing the relationship from every angle, the what-ifs, and the what-could-have-beens. This can go on for weeks, even months, and can be very distressing, and exhausting.

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Word Salad: Always On The Narcissist’s Menu

(Read time: 1-2 mins.)

“Word salad” is a psychiatric term used to describe words expressed in a random, incoherent order, resulting from a neurological disorder. The words may be grammatically correct, but semantically confused, making it impossible to extract any meaning from them.

The term “word salad” is also used in the narcissistic abuse community to describe a common gaslighting tactic the narcissist uses to frustrate, confuse, and subjugate his partner, such as in the examples below. The narcissist will employ these tactics when he feels he is losing control of his partner, or sometimes out of sheer boredom. continue reading