Never contend with with a man who has nothing to lose, for thereby, you enter into an unequal conflict. – Baltasar Gracian
(Read time 1-2 mins)
A collapsed narcissist is a narcissist who has experienced a severe enough narcissistic injury to have every piece of the scaffolding that holds up his false self, splinter and break, leaving him in a figurative heap on the floor. It may be so severe that he experiences disassociation temporarily. He has nothing to lose, no one to distract him, no one onto whom he project his inner hate, envy, rage and trash, no one to prop him up.
He is alone, and forced to deal with all of the darkness, turmoil and hate that he is typically able to avoid by inflicting it on his partner. He has to deal with himself, since he has no one to foist this onerous, toxic burden upon.
A collapsed narcissist can be dangerous. Being the target of a collapsed narcissist’s emotional frenzy, rage and wrath is very disturbing, distressing, and traumatic.
Do narcissists feel regret when they hurt their partners? Regret is a powerful, toxic and very dangerous weapon in the hands of a narcissist, that he/she draws out once the partner’s love and loyalty has been firmly secured. Regret, in the hands of a narcissist, is a sophisticated form of coercive control and total fakery used to manipulate the partner into compliance.
(Read time: 3-4 mins)
“Some sensations … take up all the extent of the mind like a fog, don’t let us think, don’t let us act, don’t let us live clearly.” – Fernando Pessoa
“Keep on moving forward. The fog will lift, a fresh wind will heal your mind, you will see clearly, and you will be free.” – Grace
FOG is an acronym that is used in the narcissistic abuse community for Fear, Obligation and Guilt. The narcissist uses FOG in relationships to manipulate and control his partner during, and even after the relationship is over. Fear, obligation, and guilt provoke intense feelings, and the narcissist knows how to use them very effectively against his partner to exert control.