The Empath and The Cold Empath: A Perfect Storm

(Read time: 1-2 mins)

Says the empath, “Milan Kundera is right, ‘For there is nothing heavier than compassion. Not even one’s own pain weighs so heavy as the pain one feels with someone, for someone, a pain intensified by the imagination and prolonged by a hundred echoes.’”

“No,” says the cold empath, “Steve Martin is right, ‘Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you’ll be a mile away and have his shoes.’”

Now, imagine these two together in a relationship. It’s like light, and a black hole. Light: the empath, comforting warmth, a giver, a feeler, a healer. The black hole: the narcissist, cold empath, dark cruelty, a taker, a taker, a taker.

An empath and a narcissist together in a relationship is a perfect storm of one-sided woe.

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It’s Not Love, It’s A Trauma Bond

(Read time: 1- 2 mins)

In order to completely let go of the narcissist, move on and fully heal, it is very important to understand that any residual feelings of longing, and feeling deeply connected to your narcissist ex; these are not feelings of love. These are most likely indicators of a trauma bond – a very strong psychological and biochemical bond that has been wired into your brain through the love-bombing and devaluation cycle of abuse you’ve endured.

With determination and consistent effort, a trauma bond can be broken. In order to do this however, you have to realize you are trauma bonded in the first place. continue reading