Healing Tips: 10 Things to Say to a Survivor of Narcissistic Abuse

Helping the survivor heal, is helping her to understand that healing comes in waves; and knowing what to say can help the process.

(Read Time: 1-2 mins)

Survivors of narcissistic abuse are traumatized, numb, feel isolated, and misunderstood. They are enduring the mental and emotional distress of cognitive dissonance and trauma-bonding, and often have C-PTSD caused by the narcissist’s toxic abuse.

Friends and loved ones often feel helpless, and even frustrated as they try to help the survivor in the healing process. It’s essential for all involved to understand that healing from narcissistic abuse is not linear. It comes in waves, it has a tidal quality, ebbing flowing, sometimes it’s stagnant for awhile.

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10 Things Not To Say To A Survivor Of Narcissistic Abuse

Narcissistic abuse victims are shattered emotionally and psychologically; they are disintegrated, fragmented, and tormented by cognitive dissonance.

(Read time: 1-2 mins)

“You just don’t understand.”

Most survivors of narcissistic abuse have either said this, or wanted to say this, to a well-meaning friend or family member, in the aftermath of a relationship with a narcissist.

And, it’s true. It’s impossible to understand the level of trauma, pain, and devastation that narcissists inflict, unless you’ve been subjected to it. Narcissistic abuse involves an element of cruelty, mental torture, emotional and psychological manipulation that makes it grotesquely unique.

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What is Something a Narcissist Can’t Fake?

The narcissist will fake his way into your life, and hang out your heart to dry.

Narcissists put the “art” in artifice. Narcissists fake a lot. They are masters of faking…fake love, fake remorse, fake honesty, fake feelings, fake promises of a fake future.

But a narcissist can’t fake everything.

A narcissist can’t fake genuine compassion or empathy. He will go through the motions, often with dramatic displays of emotion.

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