Category: healing

Life Lessons Learned From A Narcissistic Relationship

“Painful lessons will turn into magnificent blessings, if you choose to travel the road of learning them.”

(Read time: 1-2 mins)

The aftermath of a relationship with a narcissist is wracked with pain, confusion, turmoil and suffering. Along with this, as painful as it is, comes valuable lessons that can help keep you from falling again into web of narcissistic abuse. The road ahead is bright and filled with opportunity. Take the following lessons with you as travel insurance, you’ve already paid for a lifetime policy:

* A man who says he trusts no one, can be trusted by no one

* A man who repeatedly accuses his partner of infidelity and lying is himself doing all of those things

* Pay very close attention to the simplest of behaviors that seem “off”

* Trust your gut, not your heart

* Evil doesn’t appear with a cape and horns, but that it appears as everything you’ve ever wanted

* A man who has nothing good to say about anyone is himself a bad person

* Never again question or doubt your instincts

* Never settle for anything less than what you know you deserve, you are supposed to be loved, valued, empowered, and happy in a relationship, not depressed, anxious, irritated, angry, walking on eggshells, isolated and abused

* A man without any meaningful friendships has serious issues

* It’s not your duty to try to stand by an abuser, no matter how many times he vows to “work on” his coldness, and his disrespectful and abusive behaviors

* Leave any relationship that is deteriorating, dysfunctional, and detrimental

* Run at the first sign of a red flag and do not – under any circumstances – look back.

Many thanks to Kimmie Browne, a Quora contributor, for sharing these wise lessons.

*Please note: All of my articles are written with the use of masculine pronouns to describe the narcissist. This is solely due to my own experience, and not meant to imply that men are not also victims of narcissistic abuse, as they are too.

The Turmoil Trap and The Path To Freedom

“The path to freedom requires but one thing: that you choose to take it.”

(Read time: 1-2 mins)

One of the most distressing elements in healing from narcissistic abuse is the intense emotional conflict between the relief at being free from the toxic dynamic and abuse, and the longing to have what you thought you had, with the person you fell in love with. There is a tidal quality to this emotional and mental struggle. The conflicting feelings ebb and flow, and sometimes pound the shore of your soul. It’s a turmoil trap of pain, confusion, and emotional exhaustion. Read More