Narcissists put the “art” in artifice. Narcissists fake a lot. They are masters of faking…fake love, fake remorse, fake honesty, fake feelings, fake promises of a fake future.
But a narcissist can’t fake everything.
A narcissist can’t fake genuine compassion or empathy. He will go through the motions, often with dramatic displays of emotion.
However, the effluvia of his annoyance and contempt perpetually seethes underneath. You can see it his cold, vacant eyes. Honest eyes can’t be faked. His terse jaw, his impatient body language are at odds with his declarations of sympathy, understanding, and support.
It’s a palpable, disturbing feeling. It feels emotionally flat, weird and “off” to the partner. Though she senses the stilted weirdness of these moments, she chooses to accept the narcissist’s sentiments as authentic, because this is what a trauma- bonded partner does – she falls victim to her confirmation bias over and over again.
Manipulating the partner’s confirmation bias is one of the narcissist’s most effective and powerful weapons of control.
Eventually, the narcissist won’t bother to fake compassion or empathy at all. Because, as it always happens, the partner’s identity will be shattered and fragmented through the narcissist’s devaluation and dehumanizing. It will get to the point that if she were sweating in the middle of a sweltering 115 degree desert and the narcissist told it was freezing, her teeth would start chattering from the freezing cold that he told her she feels.
It is one of many brutal truths of staying in a relationship with a narcissist.
The partner learns that the “happily-ever-after” was the biggest fake of all.